I travelled around Europe for 1 month, 3 weeks of which were solo travel. I have never been travelling before, so to choose solo travel as my first experience was a big step.
And let me reassure you now, whether alone or in a group, travelling is one big rollercoaster. You can be strolling along having the time of your life and then out of nowhere it hits you...
You're homesick and/or sad for no reason.
There may sometimes be a reason yes, but at times it can be completely out of the blue. You may cheer up and have a great evening, but then wake up the next morning feeling crappy again. Travel is crazy. Don't expect it to be a smooth ride. Don't let it put you off though! It's all part of the experience.
My biggest piece of advice I can give you is to LISTEN TO YOURSELF.
Listen to your heart and your head at all times. It sounds a little cheesy but when you think about it, we use this technique every day, in all kinds of situations. Just because you're travelling and "on an adventure of a lifetime" doesn't mean you have to push your happiness aside and do things you may not want to do.
I think there is a definite pressure when it comes to travelling to really put yourself out there, out of your comfort zone and make lots of effort 24/7. Yes, this is important and it's really good for us to be in new situations and experience different things but it does not mean you have to feel uncomfortable. Your happiness is the most important thing and you should always put that first. If you don't feel happy or comfortable in a situation, don't let yourself feel pressured into something just because you're travelling.
If you're thinking about going home and cutting your trip short, you may just be overdoing it and stressing yourself out too much. Before you make the decision to go home, first stop and take a breath. Get yourself into a place where you feel comfortable, whether that be back at your accommodation, away from your group, in a quiet cafe...anywhere!
Listen to your head and your heart and have a think about what may make you feel a little better in that specific moment, without giving in to the thought of home.
It could be to just write the day off, forget about exploring for now and just go home and have time to yourself. Watch a movie, have a nap, maybe take a bath if you have one! It sounds silly, but you'd be surprised at what a few hours can do to your mood.
And believe me I get it. When I was feeling homesick I would Google "feeling homesick whilst travelling". I read article after article, rolling my eyes through my tears because they all said the same thing, that "things will look up, it will get better" blah blah.
At that moment I didn't think anything would get better and nothing would help. And if you're really not enjoying yourself it's difficult to imagine yourself having a good time.
So what did I do?
Believe me, there were a few times when I was convinced I was going to go home. On one particular occasion, I had just arrived in Budapest. Budapest was my 'break' half way through the trip. I had booked into a spa hotel because everything in Budapest is cheap as chips and I wanted to treat myself. (Very important when travelling.)
I got into my room (which was stunning by the way) and what did I do? I broke down into tears. I just wanted to go home. I had just arrived at this stunning hotel with the most amazing hotel room and I still felt so sad and lonely. I messaged a few friends and my mum telling them I wanted to quit. I immediately received responses telling me to just relax, forget about the rest of the day (because honestly I had no interest in exploring the city.) They said take a shower, get some dinner, throw on some pjs, chill out and watch Netflix. (Taking an iPad with me was an absolute saviour!)
I forgot about the pressure of making an effort and just did what I wanted to do. I felt instantly better with that thought off of my shoulders. When I woke up the next day, I felt refreshed, recharged and a lot less negative. I decided to go on a free walking tour where I got chatting to a few people, and ended up going out that night with a new friend who was also a solo traveller! I felt so much better and despite the day I arrived, had an amazing time in Budapest.
So here are some more things that really helped me when I started to think negatively about the trip.
- You are a strong, independent woman (or man) and you don't need no man to complete you! ...Ok this one is a slight joke, but honestly it made me laugh every time I said it to myself and laughter was exactly what I needed!
- In slightly more seriousness, remind yourself why you came out to where you are in the first place. You wanted to take this trip for a reason. Remind yourself of where you are. Just thinking about the city I was in, and the fact that it was a city I had always wanted to visit instantly improved my mood.
- There are a lot of people that spend their time daydreaming about travel and the places they'd just love to visit. You'd be surprised at how many of them do nothing about it. But not you! You got out there and chased your mo fuckin dreams! And if you're travelling solo, I take my hat off to you. It takes a lot of courage to go it alone and you're freakin doing it! Even just getting out there in the first place is an accomplishment in itself.
- Think about everyone at home, probably sat in the office and yano if your home is England then it's raining. HAHA
Now if nothing seems to be improving, if you've tried your best but you're having crappy days one after the other with no sign of improvement, that's ok. The point is that you tried and you should be proud of that. The most important thing is your happiness and wellbeing. Don't force yourself to stay out there for the sake of it if you know you'll just be miserable.
We only get 1 chance in life so happiness is of top priority. If going home is what feels right, then do it. Yes, you may feel a little sad that it didn't work out like you'd hoped, but it's not a bad thing. You've learnt something new about yourself, which is pretty much the whole point anyway! If you really want to, go back home, see your friends and family, get lots of cuddles from your loved ones, order a pizza and don't worry about it.
Don't for 1 second think that you've failed or let anyone down. You haven't! Not one little bit! Everyone back home just wants you to be happy! I know if one of my loved ones were away from home and feeling miserable, I'd naturally be very concerned and want them to do what's best for them... and I'm sure you'd do the same too!
So if you're reading this whilst feeling homesick, give some of my tips a try. In the moments I felt completely hopeless, they really did help. Just a few hours made such a big difference. And whatever happens with your trip, think positive thoughts and do what's best for you.
Remember that it's your trip, and nobody else's. You spend it however you god damn please. Don't give into what society tells you you should be doing when travelling. Always put your happiness first.
And just a quick note, I did have a few moments where I felt rubbish and wanted to come home but they didn't last very long. I had an amazing experience and loved (almost) all of my trip!
Lotsa love and happy travelling,
Franki x
